I asked a guy I met online out on a date, but when we met in person, he barely spoke. He kept looking at me in a way I couldn’t understand. As a bigger woman who had experienced enough awkward dates, I immediately assumed he had seen my photos, was disappointed by my appearance, and was simply trying to be polite until the evening ended.

So when we reached the restaurant, I decided I might as well enjoy the meal. I ordered exactly what I wanted—a burger with fries. When he looked at my plate and said, “Seriously?”, my entire body went still. I was certain I had been right about him all along.

Then he started laughing and explained that his silence had nothing to do with my size. He was nervous. He had been staring because he liked me but didn’t know what to say. He even admitted that on previous dates, he had watched women pretend they weren’t hungry while pushing lettuce around their plates, and he had secretly been hoping I wouldn’t do the same.

That simple moment became the best first date I’d had in years. His laughter made me realize how long I had spent making myself smaller at restaurant tables, worrying about how much space I took up and what other people thought. That night, I finally felt like I didn’t have to shrink myself to be worthy of being desired, accepted, or loved.